Never Again
by Draith
Summary: Listened to Nickelback's song a few too many times. The anger that it stirs in me bore this short fic. It's set in Yuusuke's home, age 6 or 7. SongFic. Rated for violence.


**A/N:**      I'm sure this has been put to a fic before, but I felt the need to write this.  I was listening to the song on the radio, and felt a deep anger in me for this situation.  I know too many people who have gone through their spouses or parents beating them, and the song hits me hard when I hear it.  

I figured it worked for Yuusuke, as his early home life isn't really discussed, and you know his father was absent; so there's leeway for artistic license.  Basically what I've done here is I've taken the storyline from the verses of Nickelback's song and made that the body of the fic.  Certain lyrics are repeated and placed inside to tie it all in.  The timeline is way before the Anime's beginning, setting Yuusuke at about 6 or 7 years old.  There's also a twist, to warn you so you don't yell at me for telling the song's story wrong.  I changed it because of whom I'm talking about.  

**Disclaimer:**     I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Yoshihiro Togashi and Shonen Jump Comics etc. do.  I also don't own the song "Never Again," Nickelback does.  I own my little adaptation and wording, that's about it.  I tried to get the lyrics to be in italics, but it just wasn't my day for making MSWord WORK.  I'm sure you know which are lyrics.

Never Again 

     Empty bottles lying on the floor, raised voices in the air.  We were watching TV peacefully, mom, him, and me.  The peace didn't last long once he lost control.  Nothing seemed to go wrong; nothing had changed, when he blew up at her, screaming about something or something else.  I was on the floor, sitting quietly for my part, just a kid, just watching a show.  A crawl backwards as his words raise loudly, putting her down at every twist and turn, swearing every other word, telling her how worthless she was to him.  I don't know what he could mean, but she must have done something wrong, how could he turn so fast over nothing?  I don't understand what it is; but I understand the danger she's in.  

     He ignores me for the moment.  A moment that makes all the difference.  I see him clenching his hands, I know what he's getting ready for; I make a run for the hallway.  I know what's going to happen.  It always does.  I've seen this too many times, and I want to turn away, but I watch as it begins.  I can't take my eyes away; I have to know what he's going to do to her... so I can lock it in my memory.  Never forget.

She's just a woman  

Never again

     I hear her yell from the other room.  Her voice pierces the air, pained, gasping; she struggles for the strength just to call out to me.  She tells me to go back to bed, shut the door, and go to sleep.  I don't want to, I want to help her, I want to know exactly why she's crying; but she yells again, and I go.  I shut the door, sitting down behind it, leaning my back on it, listening to the sounds from down the hall.  I can hear the blows landing... I can hear her hushed cries of pain.  

     I'm so scared... I'm so scared that she's going to die... that he's going to kill her, and there'll be nothing I can do.  Nothing has ever scared me this much.  It seems like it will never end.  Maybe this time it won't… I wait forever, forced to listen to the horrible scene I can see in my head, despite being sent away from it.  Waiting forever.  

Been here before, but not like this

Seen it before, but not like this

Never before have I ever

Seen it this bad

She's just a woman

Never again

     Forever had to end.  I don't know whether to be relieved or more afraid.  The bright lights hurt my eyes after crying for her so much.  Are they hurting hers?  I can't tell.  I look at her face.  I realize then that the lights would make no difference on the pain she already must have.  They call her name, and she gets up.  I plead to her with my eyes… I don't want to be left with him.  I don't want to sit there next to him while she goes into another room all alone; I can't.  She nods to me gently and grabs my hand, dragging me along with her before he can get out a word of protest.  I glance back just once, long enough to see him give me a glare of warning before smiling and nodding a greeting to a passing receptionist, looking perfectly innocent.  I don't know how he can keep up the act, knowing inside all of the things he's done to her, how much he's hurt her all these times.

     I ignore him once again as she and I walk into the nurse's room.  We've been in this room before, been in them all.  She sits down on the bench, letting me sit beside her.  I watch her face carefully, knowing she's hurting and just being quiet for my sake.  I want to tell her it's all right, that she can stop worrying.  I want it to be true.  I want it to be true so much.   She touches the side of her face, wincing at the contact.  It has already begun to swell with the bruises that he inflicted on her.  I know it stings.  I want to make it all go away.  But I'm too small to do anything.  

     The nurse comes in, looking pleasant as they always do.  The nurse looks her over, checking all of her bruises, examining them for swelling and pain.  She tells the nurse that she slipped on the back steps, taking a bad fall and hitting her face on the stair.  A common story, not one she hasn't ever used before.  She chuckles nervously as the nurse doesn't respond.  I watch the nurse's face as well, wondering what she'll say this time.  The nurse asks for the truth, looking her in the eyes in a quiet and gently demanding way.  She falters slightly, but holds to her story.  I want to scream; scream out everything I've ever seen, everything I've heard him say.  All of it, right then.  I'd scream it in the nurse's face if I could; but instead I sit there, watching everything unfold, watching the nurse let it go, like has happened all the other times.  Knowing that the truth the nurse wants, the truth she knew, the truth that I'm screaming inside of myself sits right outside in the waiting room, looking innocent as can be.  The truth of it all lay right outside in his hands; the hands that had caused all of this.  Just hands.  HIS hands.  How could he stand to look so innocent in the face of such a horrible lie?

She's just a woman 

Never again__

     I watch the hospital building fade into the distance through the car window.  There it goes again… a chance for things to be set right.  Too many times already have I watched those walls melt into the horizon, dooming she and I once again to the pain of living at home with him.  Not even that far down the road, and he's already starting in on her, interrogating her about what went on in the nurse's room.  She's barely able to get him to believe her that she didn't tell.  I keep my mouth shut, for fear of what he'd do to her, if I spoke.  I hate this fear he gives me.  I want to take it away, take it away from her eyes.  I can't stand to see it there; it makes me so angry.  I will find something to do… if there's anything that I CAN do, I'll do it, just to not see that look in her eyes any more.  He deserves anything I can give him.

Father's a name you haven't earned yet   
You're just a child with a temper   
Haven't you heard "Don't hit a lady"?   
Kicking your ass would be a pleasure

     No peace lasts anymore.  The last trip to the hospital seems to have set him off even worse.  I can't bear to meet his eyes anymore; my anger is burning through me like a raging flame.  Another night goes by.  It started off peaceful enough, but by now I can feel the tension building.  I counted the bottles; he's had more than usual.  There's no telling how bad things will get tonight, if he gets set off.  

     I don't even know what happened… I must have missed it.  One moment I'm thinking about what I'm going to do if things get bad, the next I'm watching her be thrown across the room in his angry rage.  It's just like the other times, there's no difference to be found other than it's another night of torture.  His drunken stupor doesn't stop his fists from finding their marks on her already battered body.  I don't know how much more she can take.  She doesn't even bother to tell me to run.  She doesn't even tell me to leave.  I can see it in her eyes that she has given up hope of ever leaving this life.  She's resigned herself to this fate that he's made for us all.  This is how it will stay, and she knows it.

     I won't let that become our reality.

     I can't stand it anymore; something has to give.  Nothing has ever felt this way, the need, the intensity of my anger.  He ignores me completely as he screams and growls at her.  Paying attention to nothing else as he beats the life out of her.  Something has to be done.  I will not spend another night listening to her cries, watching her get beaten.  No.  I know what I'm going to do.  I leave the room, but not to hide.  I run, but not to get away from him.  I head for the drawer I know contains the answer.  It's not locked, he was never that smart, nor sober enough to think about it logically.  Opening the drawer, I reach in to grasp the only option I have deemed worthy to keep her safe.  Her safety, my sanity; this will answer all.  

     I turn and head back to the room slowly, gathering more and more anger with each deadly step I take towards them.  Resolve and need burn in my head and heart as I come into view of him.  This is the end.  I raise my arm; freedom extended so steadily I fear it will break me.  She's down on the ground as she always is, unable by now to even stand for his thrashings.  The anger courses through me.  Nothing can stop me now as I center on his form, now turned at me.  His eyes are lucid, barely focusing on me as he yells, asking what I think I'm doing.  I don't answer him, knowing he's not worth any words I could give him.  I ignore the look of horror on her face, her weak beckoning for me to run away.  There is no other choice now, and she knows it as well; I'm just the first to accept the fact, and put it to use.  

     He starts towards me, angrily slurring on about what a stupid child she had raised, how I couldn't belong to him.  I wish I didn't.  I don't belong to him; I belong to her.  He didn't deserve to own anything; much less what could not even be called a family.  So we would be a family without him.  He's almost at me now.  I stare into those eyes I've held such a hatred for, so long.  In a rush my hatred fuels my anger, the anger turning to need and action as I pull my finger back on the trigger.  Sound roars in my ears, and I'm thrown back.  I look as I fall from the recoil.  Freedom has succeeded.  He's lying on the floor, satisfyingly still on the carpet.  It's over.  She and I are free from him.  He can't hurt us ever again.  We won't have to run, won't have to hide.  He won't hurt her anymore.

She's just a woman Never again 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Draith


End file.
